Learning to ask someone’s age is a common and often essential part of getting to know them in any language. In Japanese, however, it’s not always a straightforward translation. Cultural nuances and levels of politeness play a significant role in how you phrase your question. This guide will walk you through the various ways to ask “How old are you?” in Japanese, covering everything from formal to casual situations, and providing insights into the cultural considerations involved.
Understanding the Basics of Age in Japanese Culture
Age holds a significant place in Japanese culture. The concept of seniority (先輩後輩 – senpai/kouhai) is deeply ingrained in social interactions, business, and even family dynamics. Seniority is based on age and experience, influencing how people address each other, the language they use, and the respect they show. Therefore, knowing someone’s age helps you navigate social situations appropriately.
Japanese language is heavily influenced by politeness levels. Knowing the age of the person you’re talking to can determine whether you use honorifics (敬語 – keigo) or more casual speech. Using the correct level of politeness demonstrates respect and avoids causing offense.
Formal Ways to Ask “How Old Are You?”
In formal settings, such as when speaking to someone older than you, someone you don’t know well, or someone in a position of authority, it’s crucial to use polite language. There are several ways to ask about age formally:
Using “Oikutsu desu ka?” (おいくつですか？)
This is perhaps the most common and versatile formal way to ask someone’s age.
- Oikutsu (おいくつ): This is the polite form of “ikutsu,” which means “how many.” The “o” (お) prefix adds politeness.
- Desu ka (ですか): This is the polite question marker, making the entire phrase a question.
Therefore, “Oikutsu desu ka?” directly translates to “How old are you?” but carries a level of respect and formality. This phrase is suitable for most situations where politeness is required.
Using “Nan-sai desu ka?” (何歳ですか？) with Politeness
While “Nan-sai desu ka?” is technically correct, it can sound a bit direct, especially when speaking to someone older. To soften it and make it more polite, you can add a softening word:
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Sumimasen, nan-sai desu ka? (すみません、何歳ですか？): This translates to “Excuse me, how old are you?” Adding “sumimasen” (excuse me) before the question makes it more considerate.
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Shitsurei desu ga, nan-sai desu ka? (失礼ですが、何歳ですか？): This means “Excuse me for being rude, but how old are you?” “Shitsurei desu ga” explicitly acknowledges that asking someone’s age might be considered impolite, adding a layer of respect.
Using “Toshi wa ikutsu desu ka?” (歳はいくつですか？)
This phrase translates literally to “How old are you?” or “What age are you?” While grammatically correct, it’s not as common as “Oikutsu desu ka?” in very formal situations. However, it’s a perfectly acceptable and polite way to inquire about age, especially when you want to sound slightly less direct.
Casual Ways to Ask “How Old Are You?”
In informal settings, such as with friends, family members of similar age, or close colleagues, you can use more casual language.
Using “Nan-sai?” (何歳？)
This is the most basic and direct way to ask someone’s age. It’s simply “How old?” You would only use this with people you are close to, as it can sound abrupt if used with someone you don’t know well.
Using “Ikutsu?” (いくつ？)
This is a slightly softer version of “Nan-sai?” While still casual, it’s a bit less blunt and can be used in slightly less intimate situations than “Nan-sai?” but it still implies a level of familiarity.
Adding Softeners to “Nan-sai?”
Even in casual situations, you might want to soften your question slightly.
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Nan-sai nano? (何歳なの？): Adding “nano” (or “nanno”) softens the question and makes it sound less demanding. It is often used by women.
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Nan-sai na no? (何歳なの？): This is a variant of “nano,” often used by men, to soften the question in a similar way.
Age-Related Conversation Starters
Instead of directly asking “How old are you?”, you can sometimes glean the information by asking about age-related topics. This approach can be less direct and feel less intrusive. For example, you could ask:
- “Itsu umare desu ka?” (いつ生まれですか？) – “When were you born?”
- “Gakunen wa ikutsu desu ka?” (学年はいくつですか？) – “What grade are you in?” (Useful for students)
These types of questions indirectly lead to knowing the age of the other person.
Answering the Question: “I am… years old.”
Knowing how to ask the question is only half the battle. You also need to know how to answer when someone asks you your age.
Using “…sai desu” (…歳です)
This is the most common and straightforward way to state your age. Simply insert your age number before “sai desu.”
- Nijuu-sai desu (二十歳です): I am 20 years old.
- Sanjuu-go-sai desu (三十五歳です): I am 35 years old.
Remember that the pronunciation of numbers in Japanese can vary slightly depending on the context, so it’s good to familiarize yourself with Japanese numbers.
Using “…sai” (…歳)
In casual conversations, you can omit the “desu” and simply say your age followed by “sai.”
- Nijuu-sai (二十歳): 20 years old.
- Sanjuu-go-sai (三十五歳): 35 years old.
This is appropriate when speaking with friends and family.
Humble Responses
Especially when speaking to someone significantly older than you, you might want to add a touch of humility when stating your age.
- You could preface your age with “Mada mada desu” (まだまだです), meaning “I still have a long way to go,” implying that you are still young and inexperienced.
Cultural Considerations and Taboos
In Japan, asking someone’s age is generally considered acceptable, but it’s essential to be mindful of the situation and your relationship with the person.
- Privacy: Some people may be sensitive about revealing their age, especially women. If someone seems hesitant or uncomfortable, it’s best to drop the subject.
- Relationship: It’s generally more acceptable to ask someone’s age if you have some form of relationship with them or a valid reason for asking (e.g., for work purposes).
- Context: The context of the conversation matters. Asking someone’s age out of the blue in a formal setting might be considered rude.
- Appearance: Avoid making assumptions about someone’s age based on their appearance. It’s always better to ask politely if the information is relevant.
While asking age is generally acceptable, there are certain scenarios where it’s considered rude or insensitive. For example:
- Asking a woman her age directly, especially if she is older, can be perceived as impolite.
- Asking someone’s age in a business setting unless it is relevant to the context (e.g., seniority in a company) can be inappropriate.
- Focusing excessively on someone’s age or making comments about it can be hurtful.
Age-Related Vocabulary and Phrases
Expanding your vocabulary related to age can help you better understand and participate in conversations about age in Japanese.
- Seinen (青年): Youth, young man
- Shojo (少女): Young girl
- Otona (大人): Adult
- Rojin (老人): Elderly person
- Toshiue (年上): Older
- Toshishita (年下): Younger
- Dosei (同い年): Same age
- Man…sai (満…歳): …years old (full age, often used in legal contexts)
- Hatsuka (二十日): 20th (day of the month, also the age of twenty years old with special counting)
Counting in Japanese
Understanding how to count in Japanese is essential to stating your age correctly. Japanese has two primary counting systems: the native Japanese system and the Sino-Japanese system (borrowed from Chinese). For counting age, the Sino-Japanese system is typically used, but there are some exceptions for certain ages.
Here are the numbers 1-10 in the Sino-Japanese system:
- 1: Ichi (一)
- 2: Ni (二)
- 3: San (三)
- 4: Yon/Shi (四)
- 5: Go (五)
- 6: Roku (六)
- 7: Nana/Shichi (七)
- 8: Hachi (八)
- 9: Kyuu/Ku (九)
- 10: Juu (十)
Combining these numbers allows you to express any age. For example:
- 11: Juu-ichi (十一)
- 20: Ni-juu (二十)
- 21: Ni-juu-ichi (二十一)
- 30: San-juu (三十)
- 100: Hyaku (百)
Special Age Names:
Certain ages in Japan have special significance and associated names:
- Hatachi (二十歳): 20 years old (coming of age)
- Kanreki (還暦): 60th birthday (a significant milestone)
Examples in Context
Here are some examples of how these phrases might be used in real conversations:
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Scenario 1: Meeting a new colleague (Formal)
- You: “Tanaka-san, hajimemashite. Suzuki to moushimasu.” (Tanaka-san, nice to meet you. My name is Suzuki.)
- Tanaka-san: “Suzuki-san, kochira koso. Yoroshiku onegaishimasu.” (Suzuki-san, likewise. Pleased to meet you.)
- You: “Tanaka-san wa, oikutsu desu ka?” (Tanaka-san, how old are you?)
- Tanaka-san: “Watashi wa yonjuu-go-sai desu.” (I am 45 years old.)
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Scenario 2: Talking to a friend (Casual)
- You: “Nee, nan-sai?” (Hey, how old are you?)
- Friend: “Nijuu-ni.” (22.)
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Scenario 3: Polite but casual
- You: Sumimasen, nan-sai desu ka?
- Other person: 25-sai desu.
Mastering the art of asking “How old are you?” in Japanese requires understanding not only the linguistic nuances but also the cultural context. By considering the level of formality, your relationship with the person, and the potential sensitivities involved, you can navigate these conversations with grace and respect. Remember that demonstrating politeness and consideration is key to building positive relationships in Japanese society.
What is the most polite way to ask someone’s age in Japanese?
The most polite way to ask someone’s age in Japanese is to avoid directly asking their age at all. Instead, try to gauge their approximate age based on context clues like their appearance, behavior, or the situation you are in. If you absolutely need to know, the most polite phrasing is “Oikutsu desu ka?” (おいくつですか？). This phrase translates to “How old are you?” but the addition of “O” at the beginning makes it honorific, showing respect.
Using “Oikutsu desu ka?” is still a potentially sensitive question, especially to older individuals or those who are self-conscious about their age. Before using this phrase, consider your relationship with the person and the overall context of the conversation. In many situations, it’s better to avoid directly asking someone’s age and instead find other ways to gather the information you need, or simply accept that their age is not information you need to know.
Is it ever acceptable to ask someone’s age directly using a less polite phrase?
Yes, there are situations where using a less polite phrase to ask someone’s age is acceptable, though it depends heavily on your relationship with the person. The phrase “Nan sai desu ka?” (何歳ですか？) is a more direct and less polite way to ask “How old are you?”. This is generally appropriate only with close friends, family members, or younger individuals whom you have a casual relationship with.
However, even with close friends and family, it’s still wise to consider the context. Asking someone’s age directly might still be considered rude if they are sensitive about it or if you’re in a formal setting. Always err on the side of caution and be mindful of the person’s potential reaction before posing the question, even using the less formal phrase.
What are some indirect ways to find out someone’s age in Japanese conversation?
One indirect way is to inquire about their year of birth. You could ask “Umare wa itsu desu ka?” (生まれはいつですか？), which translates to “When were you born?”. While still somewhat direct, it’s perceived as less intrusive than directly asking their age, because the person then has the choice whether or not to explicitly state the year. This gives them a measure of control over how the information is revealed.
Another subtle approach is to discuss shared experiences or popular culture references from a specific era. For example, you could mention a popular anime or song from a certain year and see if they remember it or have an opinion. This can provide clues about their age range without directly asking. Always keep the conversation casual and avoid making assumptions based on their response.
How do I respond if someone asks me “Oikutsu desu ka?” and I don’t want to answer?
You have several options when someone asks “Oikutsu desu ka?” and you prefer not to answer. The simplest response is to politely decline to answer. You could say “Sumimasen, chotto… (すみません、ちょっと…) “, meaning “Sorry, a little…”, leaving the sentence unfinished. This indicates you don’t wish to disclose your age without being overly confrontational.
Another option is to deflect the question with a joke or a lighthearted comment. You could say something like “Himitsu desu! (秘密です！)”, meaning “It’s a secret!”. Alternatively, you can turn the question back on them by saying “Saa, anata wa dō desu ka? (さあ、あなたはどうですか？)” meaning “Well, what about you?”. However, use these responses with caution, as they may be perceived as evasive or even rude in some situations.
Are there any cultural considerations to keep in mind when asking about age in Japan?
Yes, there are several cultural considerations to keep in mind. In Japan, age is often associated with respect and seniority. Older individuals are typically treated with more deference, and their opinions are often highly valued. Directly asking about someone’s age, particularly if they are older than you, can be seen as a sign of disrespect or an attempt to establish a hierarchy.
Furthermore, some people in Japan are simply private about their age and do not want to disclose it. This is especially true for women. Pressuring someone to reveal their age after they have indicated they don’t want to can be considered rude and intrusive. Therefore, it’s best to err on the side of caution and avoid asking about age unless you have a close relationship with the person and the context is appropriate.
When is it actually necessary to ask someone’s age in Japanese?
There are certain situations where asking someone’s age in Japanese is necessary or unavoidable. These often involve formal settings or situations where age is a relevant factor, such as filling out official documents or registering for age-restricted activities. In such cases, using polite language like “Oikutsu desu ka?” is essential.
Another scenario where it might be necessary is when determining the appropriate level of formality to use in your language. Japanese language has different levels of politeness, and the level of formality used depends on the age and status of the person you are speaking to. Knowing someone’s age helps you use the appropriate honorifics and verb forms, ensuring you show the correct level of respect.
Are there specific age-related phrases in Japanese that I should be aware of?
Yes, there are some age-related phrases in Japanese that are useful to know. “Hatasachi (二十歳)” refers specifically to the age of twenty, which is the age of adulthood in Japan. It’s a significant milestone and often celebrated. Knowing this term is useful when discussing coming-of-age ceremonies or legal rights.
Another important phrase is “Kanreki (還暦)”, which refers to the age of sixty. This is a traditional milestone signifying a completion of one’s life cycle and a symbolic rebirth. It is often celebrated with a special red garment. Being aware of these phrases helps you understand cultural nuances and engage in age-related conversations appropriately.